February 21, 2005

Future Obituaries

In keeping with the trend of declaring a dead celebrity the greatest thing since somebody who actually was great, I've decided to be the first on the bandwagon by showering with hyperbole some celebs who haven't died yet:

Paula Abdul, the greatest choreographer since Twyla Tharp.
Jonathan Frakes, the heir to Olivier.
Gary Coleman, a veritable two-eyed Sammy Davis, Jr.
Spandau Ballet's Gary Kemp, the best crooner since Der Bingle.
Johnny Lee, the torch passed from Hank Williams burned bright.
Roseanne Cash, her one hit managed to kick her father's entire lifetime of work to the curb.
Goldie Hawn, she alone was able to overtake Lucille Ball in the Great American Comedienne stakes.

Wasn't it silly enough seeing the media's rush to canonize Johnny-one-note playwright Arthur Miller?
Hunter S. Thompson is dead. He wrote one interesting book. No, he wasn't Mark Twain.
As said Balki, a character brought to life by the wonderful, stupendous, reincarnation-of-John-Barrymore-himself, Bronson Pinchot: "Don't be ridiculous."

UPDATE:
An excellent and very apt obit by Stephen Schwartz.

Posted by floridacracker at February 21, 2005 11:48 AM

   



Comments

Some would say he wrote many good pieces, and two great books.

Man, that Theraflu has you cranky!

How's Lily?

Posted by: Bill from INDC at February 21, 2005 12:45 PM

Isn't it sad that the American public has already forgotten Balki? Man, he had some great lines. Like that time he said...uh...well, give me a while, I'll be back.

Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at February 21, 2005 01:14 PM

Thompson was indeed overrated, but he was still an awesome writer. To claim that everyone is now jumping on some sort of "bandwagon'' to canonize him is just ig...Aaghhh! Get that dog off me!

Posted by: Gringo at February 21, 2005 03:53 PM

Get well soon.

All I ever read by Hunter Thompson was some of the Hells Angels book & maybe a couple of columns. I have always thought of him as kinda of a Hell's Angels' version of Ken Kesey.

Wonder if he was consciously trying to emulate Hemmingway? I guess can see it by someone his age who has just gotten, say, real bad medical news, but this sounds like the end result of plain old depression aggravated by chronic substance abuse. Not to mention not very considerate of any of any loved ones who would foreseeably happen upon the mess. To do it "right" buy yerself a casket, prepay for your funeral, show some ID and then climb in and do it right then and there at the funeral parlor.

Sorry for the morbid sense of humor, but IMO suicides only hurt those who must go on living...

Posted by: Carl in Atlanta at February 21, 2005 03:57 PM

Gringo and his attitude must be tons of fun at parties.

Posted by: fad at February 21, 2005 03:57 PM

You would know fad, no party is complete without a wise ass.

Posted by: Gringo at February 21, 2005 04:02 PM

I'm complaining he's being compared to Mark Twain, Gringo.
Don't be upset. I'm sure your icon will make it into Trivial Pursuit.

Posted by: Donnah at February 21, 2005 04:25 PM

I could never be upset at someone who once a week pays heartfelt tribute to the monster that was Duane All...AAGHHHHHHH! GET THAT DOG OFF!

Posted by: Gringo at February 21, 2005 05:10 PM

What's really annoying is when the MSM cranks out hagiographies of people who really deserve to be reviled. Susan Sontag for example. Wait until Michael Moore manages to eat his way into a grand-piano-sized coffin. I'm sure he will be described as the Orson Welles of documentarians.

Posted by: Van Helsing at February 21, 2005 06:11 PM

Exactly, Van. He'll be Orson freaking Welles.

Bill, Besides Lilly's small set-back in her behavior modification training, she's doing OK.

Posted by: Donnah at February 21, 2005 06:16 PM

Van Helsing--LMAO Piano-sized coffin indeed...

I never "got" Hunter S. myself, as a young person or at any other time in my life. He and Kerouac both baffled me...what the hell is all the fuss about? They suck, was always my feeling. And I always felt kind of deficient, like I wasn't cool enough to get them, as all my peers did. It was gratifying as I got older to see that many, many others shared my views.

It's interesting to see all the reactions to his death, though.

Thanks for the link to the Schwartz piece, Donnah--I really liked it.

Posted by: Amy at February 22, 2005 10:03 AM

I did too, Amy. The bit about how HST had "nothing to teach the young, except to emit a cacophony" cracked me up.

Posted by: Donnah at February 22, 2005 10:52 PM