No kidding! The only arrest on my record is the one at Goodfellow for "Unauthorized Access to a Secure Area." A jeep instructor, I had come in early for a swing shift on a Sunday night to make up for the next week's Christmas Eve Sunday night. The Secret Square was deserted after I entered. Seeing the vault was still closed, I plopped down in the Instructor's lounge, lit up a cig, and read a magazine. After my second smoke, I heard some movement in the hallway. Hoping it was the vault monitor arriving, I came out to see two SPs arriving with rifles drawn. Apparently, the building had been alarmed, but not locked and marked. They took me into custody and called my First Sgt, who signed for my release so I could go back to class.

I've heard of several studnuts zoning out and trying to leave with their classified study folders tucked under their arms. If only Sandy Berger had been jacked up once or twice...history may have been different.

Hey, glad to see you. What years were you there? 1990 for me. It was funny, when I finally got to my unit in Germany, I'm listening to one of the Warrants talking, and it was the voice from the tapes I'd listened to at Goodfellow. MI is such a small community.

We'd be warned about the SPs when we got there; that they did'nt play around. Man! The little place where they had the snack machines was kind of right across from the vault building. Getting the soda broke her train of thought, I guess. Instead of heading for the vault, she headed for the gate...

I was there 87-91 in TTKUA, teaching the Korean course.

That snack shack was the site of many a controversy, including SPs stealing stuff out of the machines and an officer student boffing an enlisted student therein. Did you know about the hidden camera?

Geez. Somebody'd do frat right in the middle of the Square?
No, I didn't know about the camera. In that case, I imagine I was filmed getting some cheese crackers. That place made me paranoid after Paige. What a stressful school that was.
The scandals when I was there was officers being removed for child porn and for not having medical help available when one soldier's heart quit beating from heat stroke during Armydillo. No, the heat stroke was the class behind me. I heard about it when that class joined up with us at Devens.

Plus it was a scandal how much of a jerk my drill sergeant was.

I was Army Russian. I don't recall ever seeing the Koreans, but you know how separate the groups are. I barely even saw the Navy Russians.

You got there at a good time. I taught my first class on TNH-21 tape machines and the clunky KSR teletypewriters. VPTS, for all of its teething problems, was the wave of the future.

Let me tell you, me and my friend Monica sat next to each other during class and day after day both of us would have tears streaming down our cheeks from looking at those screens. I don't know what the problem was.
A Warrant named Miss Haacke was the voice on our tapes. The funnest part of my class was that no matter what the question was, a guy named Joel always hollered out "Third Shock Army!" as the answer. I'm sure the instructors got tired of it, but we never failed to find it amusing.

Oh, one thing I'll never understand. Why didn't they explain to us the process of laying the battery? It was nets, nets, nets, but it wasn't until I got to my duty station that some sergeant sat down with me on his own accord and explained to me what was going on-- how they decided where to arrange which vehicle, dug in the little shovels in the back for recoil, etc, so I could really visualize what I was hearing.
And that you could tell who was in charge right away- it was the guy screaming. LOL. At my station we put one really amazing nasty outburst on a perpetual loop at an empty pos, so we could enjoy it whenever we liked.

I always had fun during the Army block, explaining the difference between Toad Artillery, Frog rockets, and amphibian tanks.

During one class, the Air Defense block was augmented by live CNN coverage of Operation Desert Storm. We worked swings the night of the attacks and I gave my class an extra hour for meal break on the condition that it was spent in front of the big-screen TV at the rec center. They gained an appreciation for antiaircraft artillery that night!

Both in school and IRL, underwater river crossings were my fave. Sweet and kind voices on the radio were a nice change o' pace.
I sat on top of a picnic bench table and watched a Patriot take out a Scud. I should have bolted to shelter but it was pretty mesmerizing.