Of course you realize this means war.

Bring it on.

(known as "le guerre magnifique" west of the rockies)

Using a sacred icon to make your 'cheap as Miracle Whip at the Dollar General' point will increase the severity of the attack.

Yeah, I know I'm going to spend some time in Hell for that, but I'm all about making vivid presentations.

Don't stone me with Brie, please.

Oh YEAH you will. We're marshalling our forces, so gird yer pork loins, baby. Of course, researching's gonna be a bitch ~ I'm sure MiracleWhip.com is some sort of lesbian porn site, but that WOULD help explain the attraction...

I'd never touch Miracle Whip as long as there's mayonnaise around. That'd make about as much sense as eating margarine when you can have good ol' country-ass butter.

Hey, FC, I'll sign on, but only if Miracle whip will Lose the cat piss flavor and steal Hellman's recipe. I would much rather buy American, so long as it tastes right, but Miracle whip has some to go to make that with me.
nuf sed

Come on Donnah, we can take these Maginot line building, snail slurping, truffle eating, mayonaisse swilling bastards. It'll be you and me, back to back slugging it out like Shane and Joe Starrett against Chris Calloway and the rest of Ryker's gang!! I grew up with Miracle Whip! In fact, after I was married, my wife sent me to the store for mayonaisse and I brought back MIRACLE WHIP!!!!!

That's because you're a red-blooded American, Willard, and not Eurotrash.

Dear FO, I've just posted some breaking research on the cat piss/Miracle Whip connection you might be interested in ~ Congress sure as hell is and no wonder. The safety of the country's food supply is at stake.

Hey, my family grew up on Miracle Whip! We use it in tuna salad, egg salad, deviled eggs, tarter sauce... you get the idea. I got your back Donna.

some people use the terms "mayonnaise" and "Miracle Whip" interchangeably

The 6 people on earth who do are an anomaly and therefore not considered relevant to the results.

Signed,
The Nice-try-but-no-cigar-American

Favorite sandwich when i was a kid?

"Momma, can I have a salad-dressing, cheese, and bread sandwich?" (Yes, I emphasized the bread part).

That salad-dressing was none other than

MIRACLE WHIP!

I am so on your side, and then some, Donnah.

I remember having Miracle Whip as a child and liked it - haven't used it to my knowledge in years. I'll sit on the fence on this one since I like both.

http://www.dukesmayo.com/dukes_history.asp

No sugar.

No Frogs.

No contest.

jimmy carter mayonnaise = 34,700

jimmy carter miracle whip = 142,000

crackers and mayonnaise = 1,070,000

crackers and miracle whip = 207,000

miracle whip recipe =
2 egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon powdered sugar
3 tablespoons lemon juice or vinegar
1 1/2 cups oil
1 1/2 tablespoons flour or cornstarch
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1/2 cup boiling water
2 tablespoons vinegar
salt

mayonaisse recipe =

What's in there?
Mayonnaise is a thick, creamy sauce used as a condiment and salad binder. It is an emulsion of egg yolks, lemon juice or vinegar, vegetable or olive oil and seasonings. Without egg yolks, it is labeled salad dressing rather than mayonnaise. United States law requires any prepared mayonnaise contain at least 65 percent oil by weight whereas mayonnaise-type salad dressing must contain no less than 30 percent oil. Nowadays there are reduced-fat, low-fat, and fat-free mayonnaise products readily available for those watching their diet, but don't expect them to taste like the real thing.

so I guess mayo could be considered an albino liquid quarter pounder..

I think you know where Texas stands here, Donnah.

"I'm expecting a denial of service..."

Oh, you're already in "denial", but it would be rude to point it out. Think I'll just draw a cartoon ~ that seems to work REAL well lately. Can't wait to see the rampaging Miracles on the Whipper Warpath.

Miracle Whippers are very tolerant. There is no warpath for us. You're the one suffering under the bootheel of the frogs, after all. We, on the other hand, were liberated in 1933.

I'm with ya Donnah! My friend Sandra, who is an international flight attendant, is kind enough to bring me care packages of American goodies when she has trips to Paris. Miracle Whip is one of the regular articles in said care packages. MMMM, mmmmmm good! (oooops, that's Campbells)

Oh right ~ the "Dressing of Peace". That's what they ALL say right before they burn your car up.

The Miracle Whippers are the ones being attacked here. You people just stand it that there are people in the world who want their spead to be zesty.
Should we start calling it "Winter Whip" so you people won't be offended?

Should we start calling it "Winter Whip" so you people won't be offended?

No, but 'salad dressing' would be a nice start. At least it would be close to the truth. Though feral feline urine does just have that certain ring to it......

Ever notice how defensive the mayonnaisers are?

Yall can call it what you want, but we'll call it what is -- a darn Miracle.

Now that I will agree with you on. It is a darn Miracle the FDA still allows MW to be sold as a food stuff. See, we are all about agreein 'round here.

While I don't care for either one, I'm with ya sister! I'm a sixth generation Florida Cracker and we never had mayonnaise in our house. Don't let them mayonnaise-slurpin' yankees give you any crap.

I won't, Hamous. My great-great granddaddys fought the Seminoles and the Yankees both. I can handle Bill and Sis.

Does my status go down if I'm a Yankee for Miracle Whip? In fact, "Whip" is my nickname.

Oh come on all of you! Mayonnaise is French? So what so is mustard! I may be wrong on that but I don't think so. Miracle Whip is fine on some things (my thoughts) but mayo is king on ham sandwiches and BLTs. THS is biased toward mayo but then again she never had milk gravy till she north of 25. And that Yankee crack is unwarranted, you'll find plenty of disgusting recipes from up North with Miracle Whip in them. Back to the mustard; if you don't put that on your hotdog you are un-American. And don't use IWO again! Mayo is used in the field by us Marines.

Is that why they call you jarheads? Is it short for mayonnaise jarheads?

I had no idea you guys were so coddled in the field. In the Army we get a little container of hot sauce in our MREs and that's *it*. Mostly we use it to pour directly into our eyes to keep alert on our long, dangerous missions.

The Marines are sounding like the Air Force more and more each day.

Here's a cyber mint for your pillow--I know you're accustomed to it.

Okay, You know this means war. Hot sauce in the eyes to keep you awake? Yeah I can see that, Army running away saying "where are the Marines" I.E Somalia. We actually have meals in the field from cooks who know how to use a rifle to augment that little bottle of Tabasco in the MRE that we use to spice things up before we take a coffee shooter (pack of coffee and a shot of h2o). Air Force? Please, Except for the PJs, they wear blue and stay at the Marriott! I have your mint baby! Bring it on, from the mayo Jarhead.

Again, you have COOKS in the field. Do you have butlers and maids too? We have to wait until a tire shreds on a Deuce and eat that.
Coffee shooters? Well, when you're used to someone else doing the cooking for you, I guess that's the best you can do. In the Army we use ours to make tasty Ranger Pudding. That's because we know how to adapt, improvise, and overcome. We're not carried through life on a velvet pillow like the Misguided Children.

Mis guided children?! That's Uncle SAM'S Misguided Children (USMC) to you. A tire shred? Oh, that's right you guys have to ride everywhere or you might get blisters. Adapt ,improvise?: Again you copy us just like you can't get your uniforms right without a peek at us. At least we don't need a patch to tell us what unit we belong to or a ribbon to say we made it through boot camp. Velvet pillow? Isn't that issued to you guys along with a blankie and some wet wipes?

("a patch to tell us what unit we belong to" ~
Now honey, don't be unkind ~ you know the patch is for when they get lost, so whoever finds them can send them back to the right shelter.)

No one would look at your patches if you had them- they're already too busy staring at the freakish sleeves and cap: "Mommy, why are that man's sleeves rolled up to his neck and all inside-out? Why did he shape his cap to make him look like the cop in the Village People?"

Yeah, y'all are all boots and utes until your feet get ate up. Then you lie down in the road and fill the air with your sobs, punctuated with the occasional seal bark out of sheer habit.
I guess that's why you bully those sweet little white-hatted boys into carrying you around on their ships.

You can tell a *soldier's* entire career by reading the uniform. On the other hand, Marines can't read, so there was no point in designing uniforms for them that require some form of literacy.

Still working on that one book a year they require you to look at?

Here's *my* patch, btw. The Electric Boy Scouts, baby. We rocked.

http://www.205mi.wiesbaden.army.mil/images/205%20Patch.jpg

Hey when you have guns like us you have to roll up your sleeves. It's a cover not a cap and you know it's better than that slanted Foreign Legion thing. We had to bully somebody to drive us around, Air Force was too easy. Entire career on the uniform ay, let's see "I was in Korea and went to Boot Camp, was at Fort Ben and I threw a grenade once" yep entire 20 year career on the uniform. Read? Hey it took me almost thirty years to learn how to use this thing and I'm still waiting for my illustrated version of Clausewitz thank you very much. OOHRAH! (seal bark my butt)