The Art Of The Forced Apology

Now that there's a video available of Cynthia McKinney's speech on the floor, you can judge for yourself how much of an apology she actually made. Speaking as someone who has worked in government for many years and been forced to write apology letters to people I felt should have been writing me one, I have quite a hoard of weasel words at my beck and call.

To Whom It May Concern:

I wish to express my "sincere regret about the encounter" the other day (when you were such an asshole.) "There should not have been any physical contact in this incident" (You touched me first, remember?) "I am sorry that this misunderstanding happened at all" (Why did you have to start something with me?), "and I regret its escalation" (Not my escalating it, but "its escalation." I don't want to name names, but you started it and now you're making a Federal case out of it.) "I apologize" (Not to you personally, but in general.)

See how it's done? You never have to actually apologize to someone about your actions, you simply regret an incident when someone crossed your path. Add whatever flourishes you like ie, "From the depths of my heart, I regret this incident took place" (If only you'd been hit by a bus on your way into my place of work,) etc. It sounds good and is very face-saving for that put-upon employee who'd rather not have to write "I'm sorry for the way I acted to you. I was wrong."

It's applicable to any work situation. Give it a try and see how you do. Remember to read back over your letter to make sure haven't claimed any actual personal responsibility.