CNN will be airing a program tonight on husband-abusers, a topic that doesn't get enough coverage.
Catching up with Darlene Hilker, sentenced to a 16-week program in Florida for women who batter; she seems to be making progress and is no longer blaming her husband for her attacking him:
Hilker said her anger would build and build until she couldn't control it. She also said other woman are feeling the same frustration, and are resorting to violence.
"There's a lot of women with a lot of anger, and they are letting it go," Hilker said. "It's not just husbands beating up wives; women can fly off, too."
Yes, they can.
UPDATE:
It won't be getting better any time soon: the rise of the violent girls.
"Yes, they can."
Mr. Cracker?! Mr. Cracker, ARE YOU OK?!!!
Posted by: Bill from INDC at April 6, 2006 09:13 PMistermay rackercay-
ail-may-emay ifmay ouyay eednay elphay
Posted by: Bill from INDC at April 6, 2006 09:26 PMLOL. You know I didn't mean it that way.
Posted by: Donnah at April 6, 2006 10:00 PMMy wife beats me all the time. Every time we play Scrabble! English isn't her first language either.
Posted by: Bill at April 6, 2006 10:12 PM"You know I didn't mean it that way."
Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sure you never "mean it that way." Like, you just get so ANGRY because you "love" (him) SO MUCH."
Heh. Nah, I went for the peaceful home.
No great ending for that one sprang to mind. I was just updating something I had posted on a while back. I think I posted something at one post where I said that up until I was adult, domestic violence encompassed just what you would think of by the term: violence against men, women, or children in the home. It was only later that it came to focus so exclusively on women, and in particular the very extreme end of the spectrum of violence against women. I grew up with most of the women around me putting guys in the hospital during fights. So, when we have the will to use more than just our hands, we can do some pretty good damage. One aunt was particularly adept at ending an argument with a good scalding.
Posted by: Donnah at April 6, 2006 11:23 PM"She said it was a love tap."
There's a trivia question for ya Donnah. Early days of MTV it was one of the first videos played ad nauseum.
l flew to the coast
To play guest to her host
In a scene too bizarre to believe
She accused me of lies
And she blackened my eyes
When I told her that I had to leave
She said it was a love tap
But I felt the pain
A love tap
She'll do it again
Oh I feel like a mess
And she's torn up her dress
Now we must change our violent ways
She scratched at my face
Put my nose out of place
Now I'm stumbling around in a dale
She said it was a love tap
But it hurt so bad
A love tap
It made me sad
She said it was a love tap
And I wonder why
A love tap
It made me cry
What will become of this love
Yeah
When I was working with the Domestic Violence Council they were just starting to allow men in the shelters. I'm thinkin' they may need shelters of their own. In my travels to speak and raise awareness/money it just amazed me at how many MEN were in very bad situations also.......
It was a real eye opener for me.
My sister's been in a shelter, not because she didn't have people who'd take her, but for the benefit of the unknown location. I've seen both sides of the coin. There's a whole of people, both male and female, who are out of control within the walls of their homes.
Posted by: Donnah at April 7, 2006 01:33 PMThere are positive aspects. If more male sex offenders get their asses handed to them by their targets, like (say) Juan Caballero by Courtney Mann...
Well...
You've got that going for you, which is nice.
Posted by: David Ross at April 8, 2006 06:06 PMYes, certainly, release your aggression on appropriate targets.
I had the same conservation with my sister once when we were talking about abduction. I said it's best to go beserk on the guy rather than getting in the car, because if you get in the car you're dead. She said she had a greater fear of a knife in the chest and would roll the dice and get in the car.
What either of us would *actually* do is thankfully unknown and hopefully always will be.