Career-Change Needed

The time has come for NASCAR's first handicapped driver:

The Paradox of Michael Wiley is not that he can drive a car without arms. That is only the beginning. The paradox comes from how he drives. Not the physical method by which he turns the steering wheel, which involves the wedging of his left stump into a crevice near the horn, but the things he carries - illegal drugs, sometimes - and the things he smashes - other cars, occasionally -- and the speeds he reaches -- 120 mph in a green Corvette with deputies on his tail, at least once.

The Paradox of Michael Wiley, then, goes something like this:

1. Driving makes him feel free.

2. Driving puts him in jail.

Michael's latest arrest, where he claims he was sitting keyless behind the wheel of a parked car, has him up in arms.