Presidential Tear Shortage

You know what's really wrong President Bush? According to columnist Ken Herman it's that he doesn't cry enough in public. He needs to take a cue from all our other crying presidents and turn on the waterworks. Remember how comforted America was when FDR would punctuate his 'fireside chat' radio broadcasts with wracking sobs? When Harry Truman wasn't punching out reporters who insulted his daughter's piano playing, he was curled up in a fetal position on the lawn of the Japanese embassy, surrounded by the thousands of origami paper cranes he'd made, a tear perpetually suspended from the end of his bespectacled nose. Lincoln's crying jags in public were surpassed only by his legendary wails in the White House corridors, which he walked wringing his hands and gibbering. Or maybe that was Mary Todd Lincoln.
In any case, I'm encouraged that in these times of continual decline in circulation figures, a newspaper man is still able to put quiche on the table writing about a president's unnatural disinclination to squirt a few in the public view.

(Herald login/pswd=crockett@tubbs.com/miamivice)