Meet Capt. Lisa Nowak, astronaut and bunny boiler:
An astronaut drove 900 miles and donned a disguise to confront a woman she believed was her rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot, police said. She was arrested Monday and charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts.U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery. She was denied bail.
Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport to confront Colleen Shipman.
Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.
Nowak told police that her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to an arrest affidavit. Police officers recovered a love letter to Oefelein in her car.
You know what this story really needs? Diapers:
When she found out that Shipman was flying to Orlando from Houston, Nowak decided to confront her, according to the arrest affidavit. Nowak raced from Houston to Orlando wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate, authorities said.
Typical astronaut -- driving while replicating the atmosphere of Jupiter.
Dressed in a wig and a trench coat, Nowak boarded an airport bus that Shipman took to her car in an airport parking lot. Shipman told police she noticed someone following her, hurried inside the car and locked the doors, according to the arrest affidavit.
Though Ms. Shipman should have been safe then, there's one thing that overpowers that primal urge for fight or flight in the face of danger, and that one thing is the tears of a maniac:
Nowak rapped on the window, tried to open the car door and asked for a ride. Shipman refused but rolled down the car window a few inches when Nowak started crying. Nowak then sprayed a chemical into Shipman's car, the affidavit said.Shipman drove to the parking lot booth, and the police were called.
During a check of the parking lot, an officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.
I bet with those items plus an unused pair of diapers she could fashion an emergency air filter for the Space Shuttle.
Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter "that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein," an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.
Was the BB gun loaded or just her diaper? If it was, Ms. Shipman could have been seriously winged.
I'd say NASA needs to beef up the psych eval section of their fitness reports before someone up in the space gets their Tang poisoned.
Feast your eyes on the object of her affection. He is devastatingly unremarkable, though he may have won her heart by sending her coded love messages in the scratchings on his metal collar.
Posted by floridacracker at February 6, 2007 03:06 AMwe have just rolled all over the place on this..
"more than a working relationship-less than a romance.."
I'll bet he nailed he on board, and I 'll bet we hear all about it at trial.
All those cardiologists I used to work with had one thing in common, Donnah. They all seemed to have been studying during the normal post adolescent
rejection/dating phase of life. In other words...the first time I saw one stamp his feet like a little kid..I knew I was in trouble.
This lady reminds me of one of them.
Posted by: csason at February 6, 2007 06:47 AM"Typical astronaut -- driving while replicating the atmosphere of Jupiter."
Heh! You're on fire, Donnah.
I wonder if this can be adapted to an episode of JAG.
Posted by: Gordon at February 6, 2007 07:45 AMA 43 year old O6! She must have been below the zone at least twice and until this "bump" in her career path, she was probably looking at stars - the kind that pin on uniforms.
You're not kidding about the psych eval - but I think the promotion board that is jamming people like her up the ladder needs to get started with a number 2 lead pencil as well.
Posted by: tfhr at February 6, 2007 08:56 AMSounds like a case for rehab to me!
I heard there's a bed open between San Francisco's mayor and Miss USA.
Oh.
Well.
Maybe not anymore, but there was.
Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 6, 2007 09:37 AMNow I know what 'BIG BROWN LIQUID FUEL POOL EYES' means in the romance novels I read.
I always wondered.
Posted by: tree hugging sister at February 6, 2007 09:40 AMMaybe she is just overly fond of the color orange.
Posted by: joe bagdonuts at February 6, 2007 09:57 AMThe first thing I thought of was the Nasa psychological evaluations need revising! The authorities need to slap her hand and just let her get back on the space ship, which is typical of today's justice system. This lady was, duh-uhh, premeditated in every calculating plan, including the diapers. Hope she brought the A & D ointment in that plastic bag for her diaper rash. What a stupid biatch! Oh, I'm sorry; everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty??? So where is the judge, jury, and penitentuary?
Posted by: kurvy at February 6, 2007 10:01 AMAnd the fascist state stomps on another practitioner of the stalker's art of love. Ours is the last, great civil rights battle. One day we will be free to love in our own way.
Posted by: marc at February 6, 2007 10:18 AMi would give anything to be an astronaut and here is someone screwing that up for a stupid "romance" she has one of the best jobs there is and interesting, but chooses to act like a child....900 miles....jeezus Kriest.
Posted by: dickprofin1 at February 6, 2007 10:35 AMI really think she probably has that "never grew up"
issue that a lot of prodigy's seem to have goin' on.
They are so involved in preparing to be the next Jarvik, or Glenn..they seem to miss out on high-school *romance*...and such.
I worked around a whole team of people that were socially inept, but technically brilliant..it was startling at times. They could give you the rundown
on ejection fractions and optical data transfer speeds..but were clueless about...well..psycho-social behavior patterns, and
b-b guns.
Nowak is married and has three children. Children are suppposed to do things that embarrass their parents, not the other way around. Imagine going from, "Wow, your mom's an astronaut!" to "Oh, wow...your mom's, uh...".
Posted by: marybeth at February 6, 2007 11:16 AMOh, wow...your mom's, uh..."
"...eligible to be a resident at the Villages!"
http://www.coalitionoftheswilling.net/archives/2006/05/sodom_and_gonor.html
Hunh. I know an airline pilot who has a bunny boiler making his (and his wife's and children's) life miserable right now. Very unpleasant and it has been going on for nearly a year.
Does this approach ever work? Are there self help books? How to Stalk and Win Your Man. How I Harrassed My True Love Into Marriage. Why I Fell in Love with the Psycho Bitch Who Was Stalking Me. 101 Tips for Tracking and Bugging for Love.
Posted by: Bad Penny at February 6, 2007 05:27 PMI don't know, Bad Penny. Let's ask Marc. Does that approach work, Marc?
Posted by: Donnah at February 6, 2007 05:50 PMDue to constant demonization in the librul MSM and a few bad eggs causing trouble for the rest of us, no.
Posted by: marc at February 7, 2007 02:01 PM