Sheryl Crow Makes Us A Deal

Let's shake on it:

I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

She's right you know and I'll lay odds that woman will leave her mark on the way Americans go to the toilet. But why is she being so generous to woman about urination when we could easily go squareless? I hope for the sake of our planet's future Sheryl has reduced the toll she exacts on this big blue marble by switching to patting dry with her underwear. If she's wasting our valuable natural resources on her crotch, I'm going to be pissed. As for defecation, her three squares and one skidmark is spot on. Or in Michael Moore's case, three squares and one 18-wheeler laying rubber. As long as the print's not made of carbon, it's all good.

She's blogging while on tour in the South, so look for her next post to be from the University of Alabama. It'll be all about the scads of TP wasted on menstruation.