Ms. Puckey Inspector Number 12

She counted the apples:

In an e-mail titled "Fecal Matter on Fort Lauderdale Beach,'' a Fort Lauderdale woman wrote to a Broward County Commissioner that on April 4 at 4:30 p.m. she had just finished a 45-minute ocean swim.

The e-mail went on to say: "Two Fort Lauderdale Police Officers on Horseback rode from A1A and Sebastian (Street) to the shoreline where they allowed their horses to defecate about 2 dozen balls of fecal matter, then turned and rode back to the street. No attempt was made to clean said fecal matter. I was appalled, disgusted, and fear for my and the health of all who enjoy our beautiful beach of Fort Lauderdale.''

If she thought about what she absorbed during her 45-minute swim, she'd lose her mind. Those gentle behemoths she probably saw on the horizon as they floated along in their territorial waters make enormous contributions to the briny waves slapping the shores of Ft. Lauderdale. Whales do too, but their bowels aren't so fecund as those of cruise ships.