You're All Going To Die

Here's a guy who doesn't know how to get things done. You don't make requests to your bosses for a bigger budget through the pages of the Miami Herald. Bill Proenza's tenure as director of the National Hurricane Center may be the briefest in that institution's history:

Nearly half the employees of the National Hurricane Center urged the federal government to replace their director, saying they needed to return their focus to protecting people from dangerous tropical weather.

A growing number of staffers believe that center Director Bill Proenza has damaged public confidence in their ability to forecast storms. Proenza has repeatedly and publicly criticized the government for failing to provide enough funding and to replace an aging weather satellite.

"The effective functioning of the National Hurricane Center is at stake," the 23 staffers said in a letter. "The staff of the National Hurricane Center would like nothing more than to return its focus to its primary mission of protecting life and property from hazardous tropical weather, and leave the political arena it now finds itself in."

He's been in a state of open hysteria since his first day on the job. Coming in on the heels of the recently retired ultra-calm and professional "When Max Whispers, Everybody Listens" Mayfield, Proenza's scenery-chewing freakouts have been seen akin to palm trees waving wildly in a stiff breeze. Of course his meltdowns might lose their comic edge once hurricane season actually starts and the public fully realizes the decision to put millions of people on the move rests with Don Knotts' Mr. Chicken. On second thought, if his google-eyes pop out on springs and twirl around when seeing a hurricane on the radar it might be worth keeping him around.