March 13, 2008

Process Of Elimination

I wonder what political statement this postmodern Bartleby was making? Was it about imperialism, capitalism, mass-consumerism, or something else?:

Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years — so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat. She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, `Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

The boyfriend's MySpace status shows him as being sad, as would be you if you'd just lost your toilet angel.

Posted by floridacracker at March 13, 2008 03:36 AM

   


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Comments

Kinda makes you wonder where HE was crapping....

Posted by: Mike The Bike at March 13, 2008 10:28 AM

This is why you should always leave the bathroom door unlocked. One never knows when there'll be an emergency.

Or you feel like eating a cheeseburger.

Posted by: panhandle cooter at March 13, 2008 11:58 AM

Didn't she ever hear the saying, shit or get off the pot ?

Posted by: nancy at March 13, 2008 06:21 PM

Next week :

A Connecticut couple gets tased for having a port-o-let growing out of THEIR ass, while running
directly into traffic ....


Speaking of port-o-lets, The 12 hours of Sebring
is in full swing..I spent the week getting the phone lines all spiffy and polished down there.

Audi will smoke everyone's behind again this year.

Posted by: csason at March 15, 2008 07:17 AM

csason and Donnah,

What does the lady on the toilet and Rev. Wright have in common?

They both need to get of their pity-pot

What's your opinon?

Posted by: nancy at March 15, 2008 08:07 AM

Maybe she will become a spokesman for the comfort of American Standard seats.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at March 15, 2008 11:13 AM

Charges files against the boyfriend today....

Posted by: Mike The Bike at March 20, 2008 12:15 PM