Fight Fought, Fite Found Fighting Fish Fit For Piqued Piking

Or, Scenes From The End Of A Relationship Pt. 2: the Pescecide Continues:

A Portland man who attacked his ex-girlfriend and impaled her pet fish this summer has been sentenced to two years probation, a psychological evaluation and community service. Donald Earl Fite III, 27, pleaded guilty Tuesday to animal abuse and domestic violence assault.

According to court records, Sarah Harris had broken up with Fite but returned to her Portland apartment July 25 to find him lying on her bed, saying he wanted to get back together.

When Harris tried to leave, Fite shoved her against a wall, grabbed her hair and tossed her against a bathtub.

Harris fled but returned with an officer to find her fish - a bright purple betta named "DeLorean" - on the wood floor with a knife through it.

According to court records, Fite quickly admitted killing the fish, telling police: "If she can't have me, then she can't have the fish."

Fite's attorney, Tom Macnair, said Tuesday that killing the fish was a "very low point" in his client's life.

Harris did not attend the hearing. In a phone interview with The Oregonian newspaper, she recalled crying hysterically when she saw the fish with a knife sticking through it.

"Donald bought the fish for me, and I'm sure he knew how much I cared for it," she said.

Betta fish, also known as Siamese fighting fish, are colorful freshwater aquarium fish that usually are between 2 and 3 inches long.

It's a blessing neither of these couples had children. There'd be much cautious post-argument sniffing of babyfood jars chez eux.

***
It looks like in between having gibbering nervous breakdowns in the sandwich spread aisle of the grocery store, our dear friends over at the Coalition of the Swilling are also blogging this whopper.