He Went Thattaway

What a drag for this guy: he survives a car wreck, only to die from being hit by a car while walking for help. The bright side is that after his death he lay by the highway for days because everybody thought he was a dead deer. He'd have gotten a kick out of that if he weren't dead.

Kudos to the passerby who realized deer don't wear shoes.

Wednesday's Duane Allman Pic

Wearing a classic white tee, Duane poses with the band.
There are three extra guys in there; including, in the left foreground, a garden gnome.
Wail on, Skydog!

The Hall Of Fame, At Last

Congrats to Skynryd to getting into the Hall of Fame. I don't hold the place in any high esteem, but I know some do. If it makes the Van Zants happy, then I'm pleased. The family's remained ever gracious to Skynyrd fans; God knows why. Their pulling Ronnie's casket out of his vault would have been the last straw for me.

Hamburglar

Mr. and Mrs MacDonald had a lovely baby boy. They sat looking at his sweet face and discussing what name to give him. "I know!" cried one or the other, "Let's call him Ronald!" And they trundled him off to a life of being the butt of jokes.

Polk Museum Of Art Celebrates Trees

The crazy folks at the Polk Museum of Art in Lakeland just love trees. They love them so much that until the end of this month they're having a special exhibition of them. What's so interesting about that, you say? Well, they've come up with the crazy idea of bringing them inside and decorating them! They're calling it "The Festival of Trees." I've never heard of doing such a thing in all my days. Whoever came up with this idea really "thinks outside the box," and should get a raise.

I'll be looking forward to going there later for their Kwanzaa celebration.

UPDATE
I sent the museum a letter about their clever idea and they sent a nice note back:

From: floridacracker
To: info@polkmuseumofart.org
Subject: Festival of Trees=Great idea!

I was so excited by this innovative idea your staff had of actually bringing trees inside and decorating them, that I thought I'd you help you along with a press release!
http://www.florida-cracker.org/archives/002506.html

Florida Cracker

From: "Polk Museum of Art"
To: "'floridacracker'"
Subject: RE: Festival of Trees=Great idea!

Thank you so much!!

Where It All Begins

Meet Maxim, potential future supercriminal and... fairly normal toddler:

But he is not simply bad when he is bad, he is just terrible. He used to scream and yell as his little fists were pounding on his mother. On one occasion he beat up a boy with a plastic fire engine toy in the kindergarten. He was reported to be pushing around, scratching, fighting, spitting etc. He would defy any authority. He would go frantic if his smallest whim happens to be disregarded. His face would turn red and purple and he would cough hysterically until he induced a bout of vomiting.

Staying Away In Droves

Here I am, Florida Cracker, ready to sign my new book "How to Make Love Like a Blogger". I was hoping for a better turn-out.

The book's filled with fascinating info, including Ann Coulter speculating on why she finds the sweatband of Matt Drudge's fedora such a turn-on...

Michelle Malkin telling a shockingly devious (and deviant) tale of revenge involving her, Hardball's Chris Matthews, and a pumpkin chocolate crunch pie...

And experts weighing in on how to conquer Insta syndrome in male bloggers.
See you at the signing!

Operation Heartstrings

In addition to his numerous tours overseas, Charlie Daniels has found another way to use music to support the troops: sending them instruments. He says only one company has turned down his request that they donate guitars to be shipped by the military to units in Iraq and Afghanistan. I wonder which one it was? It's not Gibson- they're in for a hundred guitars plus accessories.

I'll add that in addition to always putting his money where his mouth is in support of our troops, Daniels is also a professional. During his disastrous tour with Hank Williams, Jr a few years back, after Charlie and his band had done the opening show, Hank came out and proceeded to pass out on the stage. The mood of the audience (which included my sister) was bad. They cleared Hank out of there, and Charlie came out again and did a whole other show, mollifying an arenaful of ticked-off people.

Take Off (To Nashville)

Rick Moranis has gone Country. After having been a DJ at a Country station in his youth, he rediscovered the music through his kids. There are two songs from his debut album The Agoraphobic Cowboy that you can listen to on his site. So far he brings to mind a Canadian Weird Al singing Country in monotone. That's not a good thing, but the redeeming qualities are the funny lyrics and the nice production. Especially good is the second song on the clip, his take on a Johnny Cash tune, called "I Ain't Goin' Nowhere."

Curse Of The Powerball Strikes Again

Or, more likely, the Curse of the Lack of Inner Resources combined with the Curse of Now I Can Buy All the Dope I Wan't.
These folks didn't live long after winning big.
Don't y'all feel blessed in not having $65 million dropped on your heads?

Time Travel

Pics from Cold War City, the newly-decomissioned 1950's-era government bunker in England.

(Via F.R.)

Home Again

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was good. Ours was interesting, the main topic of conversation being the European Red Stag that is terrorizing my sister's neighborhood. What's being called a "deer" in the papers is not only not from Florida, it's not even from the North American continent. The family on Nalle Road that claims they don't own the "deer" that broke down a neighbor's horse stall and killed Rowdy the miniature horse, do happen to own monkies, an ocelot, an ostrich, and many other exotic animals. All with no exotic animals license. The stag that's rampaging around, chasing people's dogs, weighs around 500 pounds.

One of my nephews has been hunting it, and although he thinks it'll be too tough to eat, he's willing to give it a try. He says a neighbor's little boar hog that came onto their property was absolutely delicious. Rowdy's owner is also hunting the stag.

Also right down Nalle Road as we came in, was a house with around 15 police cars. There'd been a home invasion with six men, who were probably illegal aliens, being shot. So much was the stag on everyone's minds, that my dad swore that it was probably mixed up in that too.

My dog Lilly did a little terrorizing of her own, scaring my tiny grand-nephew and his little puppy by running up to them and barking, and making both of them cry.

And how was everybody's Thanksgiving?

UPDATE
The Cheney X is still big blogging news, is it? A CNN service rep got fired for being snotty on the phone, ooh! Everytime I see a mention of this crap, I will post about Rowdy the miniature horse. It's my contribution of real steaming horseshit to go along with all the digital piles of it.
We've all had equipment screw up and we've all encountered a snotty rep. No big deal.

Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving today. We'll be heading over to Lee County in a bit.
On this day, remember the miserable folks like this guy, unable to go visit his family because they have a restraining order out against him. Then stuff your faces and enjoy a happy day spent in the company of the people that matter most: the ones who would rate a six-antigen tissue match if you ever needed a kidney or slice of liver.

Companies With A Heart

The folks at Giants Stadium are so thoughtful. They're setting aside a special room so football-loving Muslims can go pray. The room was kindly set aside in response to the complaints of some Muslims whose prayers next to an air duct during a visit by the President of the United States were rudely interrupted by the FBI.
Don't tell me corporations don't have their finger on the pulse of America.

(Via the blog with a heart, the Gates of Vienna.)

Rockettes Kick Male Hopefuls In The Nuts

Radio City Music Hall told men yesterday they have no chance of joining the Rockettes, the America's oldest and most colorful chorus line.

The "men need not apply" position was underscored at a news conference unveiling plans for six months of celebrations next year to mark the 80th anniversary of the founding of the elite New York based high-kicking, precision tap corps which performs across the United States

While the Rockettes have paraded across the Great Stage as wooden soldiers since The Radio City Christmas Spectacular’s debut in 1933, Howard Kolins, Radio City executive producer, made it clear that one battle he did not want was one of the sexes. "I can't imagine that we would open up the Rockettes to men," he said, adding that the Radio City Music Hall's dressing rooms were "small and cramped" and he did not want disciplinary difficulties.

"They are young and I don't want to enlist problems. I'm not saying that men are not qualified to be in leggy eye-high kick lines, but it is a question of discipline."

The troupe numbers 36 members, all women, and have to be between 5ft 6in to 5ft 9in tall to apply.

Wednesday's Duane Allman Pic

Duane's last show at the Warehouse in New Orleans.
What could that be in his pocket?
Wail on, Skydog!

Homefires VIII

As a ten year old, this boy picked up an old instrument and played it a new way. His self-taught style has since become the way to do it, and stands as the signature sound for an entire genre of music. Bow your head when you say his name.

**
Trambo got it. From Shelby, North Carolina, it's Earl Scruggs.

Earl Scruggs grew up in a home full of musical instruments. His brother Junie would hog the banjo, so Earl played the guitar. Earl played it the way his idol, Mother Maybelle Carter did -- three-finger style.
When he finally got his hands on the family banjo, instead of playing it two-finger style, as was the norm, he played that instrument three-finger style as well. As he played, his little fingers developed what is now called "the Earl Scruggs roll"; the signature sound of Bluegrass music. Never has one person so dominated an instrument as Earl Scruggs does the five-string banjo.
While mandolin-playing bandleader Bill Monroe is commonly known to the public as the Father of Bluegrass, many musicologists say the actual birth of Bluegrass can be dated to the day little Earl Scruggs started playing the banjo "his way." Earl's style, which gave the banjo player the ability to provide rhythm and melody at the same time, became the sound of Bluegrass itself.

***
Previous postings:
Homefires VII
Homefires VI
Homefires V
Homefires IV
Homefires III
Homefires II
Homefires

Mother Of Invention

From Project Facade, a WWI silent film clip from sculptor Francis Derwent Wood's Masks for Facial Disfigurements Department, better known as the Tin Noses Shop. The masks were precise likenesses made from photographs of the soldiers before they were injured.
As the war progressed, men like New Zealand surgeon Harold Gillies and American dentist Varaztad Kazanjian kickstarted the profession of plastic surgery with techniques they developed to restore soldiers' faces.
For plastic surgery being in its infancy, some of the guys came out looking very good indeed.
While these men dedicated their skills to the benefit of humanity, I wonder what they'd make of this (or this).

Cotillion

The Cotillion is up, this week hosted by Gray Tie.
Go check it out!

Rowdy's Last Stand

This deer put a big 'X' over Rowdy the miniature horse's life. When's Drudge and Michelle going to write about that, huh?

This occured in my sister's neighborhood. Her sons will eat that murdering deer, as they do all the neighbors's critters that get loose. But let's blogswarm it first.

Win/Win Situation

A Bonita Springs man seeking genital stimulation got his wish:

A naked man was accidentally shocked in the genitals by a Taser after he was found breaking windows and asking women to touch him inappropriately, police said.

Jeremy J. Miljour, 26, of Bonita Springs, attempted to run when approached by Lee County sheriff's deputies Saturday. When he ignored requested to stop, Deputy Daniel Hollywood shot Miljour with a Taser.

One of the Taser prongs accidentally hit Miljour's genitals and got stuck, said Cpl. Matt Chitwood.

I frequently accuse law enforcement types of being taser-happy, but really, this worked out for everyone.

**
Will somebody tell Country Store that I got dibs on all Lee County news and one-half of all Florida tasering news? Thanks.

End On An Epoch

The last surviving soldier involved in the 1914 Christmas Truce has died. He was 109.
You can read more about the Christmas Truce here and here, including various theories as to why it happened.

Chimp Fest

Submit your entry for the ultimate chimp-themed Presidential slur -- or don't, as the grand prize winner may well receive a case of vegemite.

All Aboard The Gravy Train

It's a darn shame that Hollywood, Florida firefighters are so poverty-stricken they had to apply for food stamps. They also did it en masse, after having arrived in their firetruck; and on city time. They probably didn't stiff the city for too much time, as they dispensed with line-waiting entirely.
They left lots of irked people in their wake: the public involved, that they went to the front of the line; the city of Hollywood goverment, that they did it on city time; and me, that these extremely well-paid individuals lacked any shame about exploiting a program meant for the poorest of the poor.

UPDATE
Food stamp eligibility is "overly broad." You don't say.

Sunday Morning Read

Saudi Arabia is not afraid to take a hard look at racism.

Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

Looks like Zarqawi has ticked a whole lot of people off:

At least 200,000 persons demonstrated yesterday against the recent bombings of three luxury hotels, while a new online statement attributed to terrorist leader Abu Musab Zarqawi defended the attacks and threatened to cut off the head of Jordan's King Abdullah II.
An anti-terrorist demonstration of such size is unprecedented in the Arab world, where Zarqawi, his mentor, Osama bin Laden, and their al Qaeda organization have attained folk-hero status among Muslim masses.
"Zarqawi, from Amman, we say to you: 'You are a coward,' " protesters chanted while brandishing banners with the names of their tribes from every part of Jordan.

When Egyptians attempted to hold an anti-terrorism protest there after their recent bombing, authorities halted it. This large demonstration in Jordan could happen because it's much more of an open society; and also because Zarqawi said he's going to cut the King's head off.

UPDATE
Zarqawi's tribe renounces him. His beheading Iraqis didn't rate such censure, but blowing up Jordanians- that's just going too far.

UPDATE II
Zarqawi dead?

At least one Arab television media outlet reported that Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the head of the al-Qaida in Iraq, was killed in Iraq on Sunday afternoon when eight terrorists blew themselves up in the in the northern Iraqi city of Mosul.

The unconfirmed report claimed that the explosions occurred after coalition forces surrounded the house in which al-Zarqawi was hiding.

Here's hoping.

(Via FR.)

Hell, No

Gamma's going to be here Monday? Uh-uh, negative. We just got our screens replaced.
Two weeks until the end of hurricane season. Hurry up, December.

Less condensation, more dissipation.
Less condensation, more dissipation.

Come on! Everybody!

Less condensation, more dissipation.
Less condensation, more dissipation.
Less condensation, more dissipation.

UPDATE
Very good.

Why He Walked The Line

For his role in "Walk the Line", Joaquin Phoenix delved deeply into the character of Johnny Cash and got to the heart of his relationship with June Carter:

"He could never control her. He had to give himself over. I think he needed that trust. And, of course, she had great breasts.”

I probably wouldn't have picked up on that last bit as being a cornerstone for a 40-year marriage, but then, I am not a trained thespian.

Post-Wilma Repairs

An enterprising man from India is out there replacing my shredded patio screens. I saw him working next door and grabbed him. He's got his Ramada Inn shirt on, so this is a lucrative post-hurricane sideline he's got going. Our roofer is Jamaican. We had one American guy come through for work, but he sounded like he was from South Carolina and both me and Mr. Cracker immediately thought "Gypsy" and passed.
We're all for hardworking people making an honest buck.

And don't look at us if you want handymen.

Consider Yourselves Warned

In retaliation for Keith Urban unjustifiably being given awards at the CMAs and in general blighting my radio airwaves, I have ordered the bombing of Australia.
If they attempt to foist on me yet another of their pretty Country-wannabes, next time it's going to be nukes.

Plaque-toothed shitkickers who can pick, however, are always welcome.

Explaining The CIA Leak Scandal

This Greg Gutfeld post over at the Huffle Puff made my day.
The comments are just icing on the cake.

(Via INDC Journal.)

Gender Confusion

Why do most people think I'm a guy? Is it because I don't put a pic of my titties on the sidebar? What's the deal?
Look under the blog title, folks.

And when you write about me, it's "bitch" and not "bastard". OK?

Saurian Menace

As the videos show, alligators continue to encroach on our territory; clogging up our airports, and bringing violence into our neighborhoods:

[Alligator trapper] French estimates Nuisance Alligator Control removes 12 alligators per year around St. James City and Bokeelia; 300 to 400 are removed in Lee County.

"There are definitely more gators than when I started trapping 20 years ago," he said. "We aren't moving into their territory, but providing more habitats for them. When a subdivision goes in, they put in lakes or preserve wetlands and they are perfect places for gators."

Two guys (John French and his son-in-law Tracy Hansen) remove 300-400 nuisance gators a year in Lee County alone. Meanwhile, in California, they're planning to bring in TV's "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin all the way from Australia to catch their one measly gator. They're going to wait until spring though, because according to them, their gator, nicknamed 'Reggie,' is hibernating during the long, cold Southern California winter.

Wacky Foreign Laws

How about that? In Austria it's a crime to be an idiot.

CMA Awards

Geez, Jack Sparks's column on last night's CMA awards is a riot, and so true:

Oh God, give it to me. Tim and Faith. Country's "First Couple"
Here's my issue...this is a song about a fractured relationship. Every goddamned video, article, and scripted photo shoot we see of these two tells us they're halfway up each other's orifices at all times in wedded bliss. George and Tammy they're not. What informs this performance other than overwrought melodrama? His voice is weak and hers is surprisingly strong.

I'm going to hit pause here and say something that makes me want to throw up. Theirs was a game effort. It wasn't a country song. But, it was a good soap opera song. They gave it the old college try. He barely did anything, and for that, he gets a thumbs down. But she really tried, so let's give her some credit. Jesus, I hate myself. If only they had sung a country song. You're neither one of you Johnny and June...you're not even Johnny and June's crusty dirty underwear. But that's a different blog.

Jack didn't mention Alison Krauss's dress, though, so I'll have to deduct points from his overall score. Her being the most talented woman in the auditorium cuts no ice with me when it comes to fashion.

Wednesday's Duane Allman Pic

Duane was a tough taskmaster.
On this day only Dickey's playing had been hot enough to rate food.
Wail on, Skydog!

Stars Gotta Shine

For those of you that are members of blog web rings: Have you ever noticed it's usually just one or two members of the ring who feel compelled to copy everyone's e-mail address and send them items of import that they've posted about on their blog? And that telling them you're too unworthy to receive the benefit of their wisdom never seems to stop them?
The rest of the group just shuffles along, never daring to dream of a day when they'd post something mass e-mail-worthy, waiting for one among them to galvanize them with insight.
Thank goodness these pricks step forward.

Oops

Alison Krauss is having a serious Lady Di moment on the CMA awards. Her and her band are singing and playing so beautifully, and her gown is completely transparent in the lights. Thin, white gauze probably isn't the best choice for dress material if you're going to be under klieg lights.
She looks pretty good as nekkid fiddlers go.

Most of the awards went to the wrong people, Elton John was there, and the show was in New York City. But forget all that and just look at Alison's dress.

Pics after the jump:

No, no nipple ring. This is a Country act, after all.

Here she is at the Grammys in a dress that combines the elements of sexiness and nonconfusingness crucial to a world-class fiddler:

UPDATE
A rather damning pic courtesy of BIRD. Looks like she knew what she was doing after all.

Joseph Smith: Enigma Machine

Man, there's nothing that the authorities (and the enemy) love more than a homemade code. That code you're sure is going to send Bletchley Park working 24/7 isn't even up to the level of the Sunday paper's "Word Jumble" to a pro:

In a jailhouse meeting with his brother, John Smith suggested that they communicate using a code, according to another taped conversation. An FBI code breaker testified for prosecutors Tuesday that Joseph Smith told his brother in a letter encrypted in code that he had dumped Carlie's clothes and backpack in four trash bins and had dragged her body to where it was found at a church property more than four days after she disappeared.

The letter ended with Joseph Smith telling his brother to destroy the correspondence after deciphering it and "shut up," said Dan Olson, the FBI code breaker.

Thank God most criminals are such buffoons. Imagine if cops had to be Sherlock Holmes all the time to make a case.

Cotillion

The Cotillion is up. This week it's hosted by Stefania.
Check it out.

Lameness All Around

I'm trying to figure out what's lamer: for a group of students at Brown University to have an event where they go to a public place and simulate sex in their underwear, or for those same students to object when their faces are shown on national TV:

One student who appeared in the producer's footage and wished to remain anonymous said she found it "incredibly offensive" that Fox News videotaped and aired images of her without her permission.

"I am a student now but I will one day be a professional," she said. "I never thought that going to such a social function would have such jeopardizing consequences for me."
--
Monica Skeldon '06, who was shown briefly as Watters described same-sex kissing, said she felt "a little violated" that she was taped without her knowledge.

--
Tumiski said he was upset that his image was shown on television without his permission. "They didn't have to show our faces. I thought that was unnecessary," he said.

Mass Migration

The Cracker clan is moving en masse out of SE Florida, three families of us. We would put Granny in her rocker and haul her off with us, but she's already bolted the area for other parts. That's a good thing: Granny bugs me.
My mother-in-law has been going to various little towns in N. Florida every weekend, scoping things out. I've given my notice and the wheels are in motion.
So. Where in Florida should we move to?

**

Isn't this pretty? It's up by High Springs. It needs mega tree shade, though. That was part of the whole design of the Cracker house.

About ten years ago, the Governor and the Office of Energy ran a competition for a modern Cracker house. There were three winners, but my favorite is the one by architect Ronald Haase, who wrote the book "Classic Cracker." The house is called the Suwannee (pdf.)
I've seen others I've liked better, but none that have won awards.

Also, I'm referencing this site for statistical information by county. The situation in the old family stomping grounds of Hamilton County looks bleak. Of course, it was bleak there over a hundred years ago when we bailed, en masse I might add, south to Lee County and all its virgin pine.

Once they brought those new-fangled railroads to Florida, Hamilton County and the river transport system was toast.

Ghost Town

Have a look at this photographer's site on the ghost town of Bodie, California. Very cool pics.
Because of the town's high elevation and the ruggedness of the terrain; when the townspeople abandonned Bodie, they left most of their belongings behind. Bodie is now a State park, and is being preserved in a state of "arrested decay."

Faithful

As an update to a story I posted this time last year, I contacted the Duluth, Minnesota Police Department to find out what had become of Officer Michelle Rafferty and her dog Timber.
Officer Rafferty is still with the Duluth PD, but Timber's eye problems did not resolve enough for him to rejoin the force. He's working a private security gig now - at Officer Rafferty's.
My best to both of them.

Drama Queen

Mr. Cracker had a dream last night where our dog Lilly spoke.
He'd meant to bake some cinnamon rolls, but had popped open a roll of biscuits instead. Lilly saw this and cried out "Why are you doing this to me?!" He told her "Sorry" and went back and got the rolls to fix.
She does tend to make a big deal out of things.

Our dogs, past and present, frequently show up in his dreams; something that I envy. I never see them in dreamland, and would really enjoy seeing again the two that have passed away.

Investigative Reporter Gets Investigated

Viking Observer unearths a squeaky little mole named James Brandon at the Christian Science Monitor.

What's In A Name?

The French are clashing with youths again. It looks like the Germans are clashing with youths as well. No, wait...those are neo-Nazis and skinheads. My mistake.

The dispute in Germany came at the Halbe cemetery. The newspapers do a disservice to the soldiers buried there by calling them Nazis. Most were Wehrmacht - regular Army- not SS. And the Wehrmacht by April 1945, was full of boy-soldiers. It's also inaccurate to say that most of the 28,000 soldiers there died in one of the "last stands against the Soviet army's advance on Berlin."
The Battle of Halbe was all about generals defying Hitler's orders for them to bring their men to Berlin, and instead trying to lead their men west to American lines in order to surrender. In one sector alone, from the opposite bank, our Ninth Army saw the Elbe turn into the River Styx as soldiers and civilians took to the water in anything that would float, while thousands waited for their turn to cross over the debris of the demolished Tangermuende bridge. In retrospect, these folks had every good reason to flee for their lives toward the West.
The clash with police took place on the eve of Germany's "Day of Mourning, an unofficial holiday on which Germany remembers its war dead and those of other nations," which I think is part of the problem. The Germany I was stationed in had a holiday for everything. I cannot fathom why the Germans still can't get a sanction to mourn the deaths of their own ill-used soldiers.

Cochran Presents

Here's Wayne's rockin' links:

*Via the Fat Guy, Varifrank brings us the Patrick J. Buchanan Memorial Library for Failed Prophets of Doom.

*Via Coalition of the Swilling, a college caves in to complaints about an art exhibit that had a crucifix in urine suspended over the head of a painting of the Virgin Mary smeared in feces. Not really. It was a photo exhibit of Muslim women wearing veils.

*V the K puts up a "lost" poster for Clifford: the Big Red Dog.

*Jessica doesn't think the sun shines out of your kid's butt.

*Via Attaboy, obnoxious cell phone behavior has been taken to a new level.

The Perilous Inland Sea

I got so caught up in all the fascinating material out there on the Edmund Fitzgerald, I forgot to mention the yearly memorial for the crew held yesterday.
Interestingly enough, when in 1995 the families of the crew wanted the ship's bell brought up, it was the Sault Ste. Marie tribe of the Chippewa Indians who co-signed the loan for the expedition.

Two crewmembers listed their homes of record as being in Florida - John Poviach, a wheelsman, of Bradenton, and Gordon MacLellan, a wiper in the engine room, of Clearwater.

Veterans Day

The very charming Lloyd Brown, WWI submariner, comes into his own. The boys down at the Legion had thought he was a WWII vet -- they found out different. Lloyd now he has two press secretaries and is enjoying a second wave of well-earned acclaim.
He says he signed up for the Great War from his home in the Missouri Ozarks for a twofold reason: patriotism and wanting to get girls.

Meanwhile, this fellow in the Tennessee Mountains was less enthusiastic about the whole business, as noted in Item 12:

A special salute today for all those awesome Doughboys, and for all the Dogfaces, Squids, Jarheads, and Zoomies who have watched over us.

Don't Forget Carlie

I have but one brother and love him dearly, but if he confessed something like this to me, it sure wouldn't rate him a hug.
It's a lot easier for me to understand what Kenneth McDuff's dad said to the police when they came by looking for McDuff after he'd been out on yet another killing spree: "If you find him, kill him." The family loyalty bit only goes so far, as far as I'm concerned. It does not encompass the depraved.

***
Previous Carlie Brucia postings here.

Slowly Getting Back To Normal

Today they opened up my worksite to staff for the first time since the storm. There's still no air conditioning. Tomorrow it will open to the public sans same.
It was a hell drive going in, taking two whole hours to get there. I wish I could blame FEMA, Bush, Mame - anybody- but all I can do is curse myself for moving with Mr. Cracker to this ridiculously overbuilt section of Florida.

We're going to go ahead and bail.

The Nightmare

This is why I've set aside a portion of my brain to do nothing but maintain a constant sensory reading of where the hemline is on the back of my legs. I doubt anybody'd 'ooh' and 'ah' and say, "Look at that adorable little angel" if I had a mishap.

Wednesday's Duane Allman Pic

Duane backstage at his last show in New Orleans.
Wail on, Skydog!

UPDATE
I do believe Tim Blair is taking a little poke at our boy.

A Memorable PSA

Rachael Leigh Cook destroys a kitchen with a frypan.
I had to really hunt for this one, which is a shame because it's a classic.

When Slobs Attack

Slovenly, stupid, and murderous is no way to go through life:

But tensions began to surface over his untidiness and her more ambitious outlook. While he held a number of low-paid jobs and had his daughter to support, she was progressing in her career and talked of travelling the world. He is believed to have exploded into violence when she challenged him to do the laundry. Dyson told police: "She said I could not switch the washing machine on, which I couldn't."

Euphemism Of The Day

"Activist."

Covrefeu

After 12 days of mayhem, the country that invented the word 'curfew' finally gets around to scheduling a meeting where they'll discuss setting them. No indecisiveness there.

I've been under a number of curfews in my time. It's odd that the French have to have a cabinet meeting to decide if mayors can set them. They must be remarkably free of disasters, natural and otherwise, over there. Lucky them.

It's the first trick out of the bag in these parts, and helps in getting things back to normal.

UPDATE
Under a super-special national law not used for 50 years, mayors are now allowed to declare curfews in their own darn towns. Amazing.

I Wouldn't Know

Sorry, is it the Battle of Eurabia going on in France? I've been busy listening to Loretta Lynn. It must be interesting to walk around with all that natural talent. Nobody has to write songs for you or piece your vocals together in the studio.

There's still no electricity at my work site, so I'm still chilling on vacation.

Munster Clan Upset At Movie Mix-Up

A family reunion for the Munsters took an unhappy turn when a scheduled group outing to the theater to see a cartoon turned to chaos. Instead of the "Chicken Little" they were expecting, a foreign film was shown. It opened with a suicide:

"It's pandemonium," Joshua Gallo-Munster, 30, told the Daily News as he rushed out of the theater with his 5-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. "The kids are crying. The mothers are screaming for the managers to stop the film."

Terrified children didn't know what to do as they watched a young boy hang himself from a tree at the 8:45 p.m. screening.

Normal human toddlers, whose parents don't take them to movies at 9:00 at night because of the common knowledge that they are tiny and need to be in bed, were not in attendance.

Pirates!

Pirates fired a rocket-propelled grenade and machine guns Saturday in an attack on a luxury cruise liner off the east African coast, the vessel's owners said.

Two armed boats approached the Seabourn Spirit about 100 miles off the coast of Somalia and fired as the boats' occupants attempted to get onboard, said Bruce Good, a spokesman for Miami-based Seabourn Cruises, a subsidiary of Carnival Corp.

The crew initiated a trained response and avoided being boarded, Good said. The ship outran them and changed its course.

"Our suspicion at this time is that the motive was theft," Good said.

One member of the 161-person crew was slightly injured before the attackers were repelled, according to a London-based Seabourn Cruises spokesman.

Press Association, the British news agency, said passengers awoke to the sound of gunfire as two 25-foot inflatable boats approached the liner. The injured crew member was reportedly hit by flying debris.

The vessel's 151 passengers, mostly Americans with some Australians and Europeans, were gathered in a lounge for their safety, Good said. None were injured.

The Spirit had been bound for Mombasa, Kenya, at the end of a 16-day voyage from Alexandria, Egypt. It was expected to reach the Seychelles in the Indian Ocean later Saturday, and then continue on its previous schedule to Singapore, Good said.

The 10,000-ton cruise ship, registered in the Bahamas, sustained minor damage, Good said. "They took some fire, but it's safe to sail," he said.

I'm trying to figure out what's more amazing: that pirates would attack a cruise ship or that a cruise ship would actually have a drill to repel pirates.
The article doesn't say who the captain is, but somebody was on the ball.

This ship review can now be updated to include "Doting, bad ass crew will fight off pirates with a minimum of inconvenience to the passengers."

UPDATE
Authorities believe this is the same band of pirates who hijacked a UN relief ship back in June. The crew was held hostage for 100 days.
I'm getting a kick out of reading the varioius accounts of the attack. The captain did an awesome job. To be a pirate is to be brazen, but the SOS the pirate mother ship sent to the cruise liner as it was speeding away was a nice touch.

Convergence

Well, well. Someone asked me if Duane Allman and Gram Parsons had ever meet. They did indeed. They both were playing at Bruce Botnick's house where Delaney and Bonnie recorded Motel Shot. The book Sing My Way Home quotes Bonnie:

Motel Shot highlights all the important genres of Gram Parson's Cosmic American Music concept--the blending of rock, gospel, hillbilly, country, blues, and soul. There are no electric instruments or drumkits. Handclaps and tambourines were the loudest percussion. Even Gram Parsons was on hand to bestow his blessing.

"Motel Shot wasn't made in a studio. It was recorded in [producer/engineer] Bruce Botnick's big front room in Los Angeles. We really wanted to be 'in the house,' in the livingroom, not in some studio with baffles, none of that stuff. We wanted everything to be as live as if we were sitting around jamming. Everything was recorded from the time we opened the door, to the last note, on in one day."

Like the old days, Delaney and Bonnie put the word out. If you wanted to be part of Motel Shot, show up at Botnick's house by 6:45 p.m, no later than 7:00 p.m. After that the door would be closed and locked. It would be a one-day shot, a 'Motel Shot'.

The official line-up became Delaney and Bonnie, Bobby Whitlock, Jim Keltner, Gram Parsons, Dave Mason, Duane Allman, Iva Bramlett (Delaney's mother), Eddie James, Buddy Miles, Carl Radle, Leon Russell, Joe Cocker, Jay York, Sandy Konikoff, John Hartford, Kenny Gradney, and Ben Benay.

"There were no drums, just a briefcase. Buddy Miles, by the way, played great briefcase even though he wasn't credited on the album. The big bass drum you hear? That was Joe Cocker banging on the side of the piano. All that percussion on 'Going Down The Road Feeling Bad' was me, Gram Parsons, and Duane Allman smacking our laps. As a matter of fact, Duane played briefcase, too. Briefcase, lap, and slide guitar."

Paris Riots

I'm evidently in the minority here, but I think the Paris riots are more about "provocative policing" than they are about Islam. It's an unspoken contract- don't try to control us, and we won't torch the place." You see it in the classroom- the kid who makes it clear that if you don't try to teach him anything, he won't explode. With rioting, there's some catalyst; then the thugs get the arson and looting started; then the people who have it in them, but are normally held in check by social or police restraint join in.
Aboriginees riot in Australia, blacks riots in Miami and LA, and none of those people are Muslim.

Has France imported a very big problem? Sure.

If you want to see a test case for potential Islam-based rioting, keep your eye on Denmark. More than any western country I've seen, the Danes make an effort to force would-be immigrants to conform to their culture -- we'll see how this effort pays off.

UPDATE
For those who've been living in a fallout shelter for the last 15 years, another pic of Damian Williams dancing over Reginald Denny:

And one of Bobby Green, the man who watched the attack on TV the same as all of us, went out there and got him, drove him to the hospital, then returned Denny's truck to the company yard. He was, and is, a truckdriver himself.
And one hell of a man:

Puppy Saves The Day

Adopting a little dog from the pound turned out to be a very wise move for this fellow.

Talking Dogs

I love watching talking dogs -- the kind that make sense. Ours talk all the time, but so far it's just dog gibberish.

Most Important Medicine Invented In The Last 49 Years

Motrin. Life was hell before ibuprofen.

Those were dark days, and I was there. In 1982, the first time I ever took a Motrin, the birds called out merrily and the butterflies flapped their wings with joy. I could no longer feel my uterus wringing itself out like a wet sponge.
My life had just taken a turn for the better.

I'm Not Getting It

The top magazine covers of the last 40 years? The American Society of Magazine Editors gives us some hits, and lots of misses.
National Geographic's March, 1984 eagle hologram cover definitely should have been on the list. That probably would have meant one fewer New Yorker cover, or not so many naked people, however.

For millions of people around the globe, this was their first glimpse of a hologram.

My Poor Taste

Actually, I do find it amusing to imagine Max Cleland doing a touchdown dance. He'd probably do better at baseball, though.

Wilma Vacation

This has become a very popular time to have a vacation. My place of business still doesn't have electricity, and instead of shifting to a location that does, I've opted to chill until more traffic signals are working, and more piles of debris are moved so I can see where the other cars are. Driving the dogs to their fields has proven so exciting, that I'm letting out sighs of relief when I get back inside my own door.

Here's a happy girl. It's Chuck Leavell's wife Rose with him at the White House dinner for Charles and Camilla. Chuck played keyboard on "Jessica" and many other Allman Brothers' songs, has worked with the Rolling Stones for decades, and is on tour with them now. I imagine it's his prominence as a tree farmer that got him this gig, though. Anyways, nice to see a rock musician with an old, happy, first wife and not some young chippy.

City Journal

Check out the City Journal. I've not found an article in there yet that wasn't interesting.
Meanwhile, I'm gearing up for the upcoming Latin-American Summit freakshow down in Cubazuela. Word is there will be some "families of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq" there. Who would be so foolish as to go to a foreign country and hang out with communists and tinhorn dictators?
You know you're old when the morning news is all "Groundhog Day" material.

Wednesday's Duane Allman Pic

What the heck does Duane got around his neck here?
Wail on, Skydog!

Once Were Warriors

The time is right to invade Canada. They're making it so easy.

Cotillion

The Cotillion is up. This week it's hosted by Portia Rediscovered.
Check it out.

Generators On The House!

Why do this when you can do this?
A pre-hurricane tax-free holiday on supplies will net you chump change (around $30 in saving per household) compared to what you'll get if you wait until after it hits:

Did you lose power when Hurricane Wilma blew through?

Rich or poor, you're probably entitled to free generators, chain saws and other disaster recovery items, courtesy of the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

In all, you could take home up to $1,676.65 in free merchandise per household.

I agree with Taxpayers for Common Sense. There really does need to be a sliding scale for this, at least.

Wait, I take that back. I know y'all don't mind buying us generators. It's in the Constitution we should have them.