Marie Osmond divorcing? What next, will we be seeing seedy photos of her sucking down coffee at Starbucks?
Marc of With Cheese! has a new blog. Goose step over to Those Fascists and have a gander.
Was the great home run chase between Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa so so long ago?:
A bronze statue forged to honour slugger Mark McGwire is built to last forever. The only question is whether it ever will see the light of day.The Cardinals commissioned the statue after McGwire hit 70 homers in 1998, obliterating Roger Maris’ 37-year-old record. There’s a place set aside for it alongside other mini-monuments to Cardinals legends outside Busch Stadium.
But the bronze is draped in cloth, hidden in a downtown warehouse.
So what's under the tarp do you think? I'm betting it's a pair of bronze testicles the size of peas. The Ringling Clown College is hoping there'll be several official Sammy Sosa statues as they'd make great pins for a juggling routine.
Stripes were in that season in Jacksonville and Duane was determined to wear a little of all of them.
Wail on, Skydog!
Aren't judges supposed to have keen analytical minds?
A Jacksonville, Fla., judge drew his handgun when an accused child molester was attacked by an alleged victim's father in court."I didn't know if he was going after me or the bailiffs or the defendant," Circuit Judge John Merrett told The (Jacksonville, Fla.) Times-Union.
Yes, the father of the victim would definitely be going for the bailiff or the judge, because Lord knows his focus wouldn't be on the bad guy in his own little family drama.
Here's a famous video of a victim's father icing a bailiff. Sorry, my mistake. This father failed to target the bailiff and instead for some reason shot the perp.
There's something in kidnap victim's Shawn Hornbeck's new house that gives me a lot of hope for that family. I noticed it in a filmed segment and just had to share it with you:
That's right. It's my beloved Miracle Whip. The community cared enough about the beleaguered family to provide them not only a new house, but also zip, zing, and zest for the mind, spirit, and tastebuds. It's a very good sign.
As if you didn't have enough reason to give banjo players a wide berth comes this twisted tale of deceit, murder, and lack of dynamic range set in the Old West:
(Via Wichita's Blog.)
The San Diego paper has a nice multimedia write-up on the tenth anniversary of the Heaven's Gate Great Kookazoid Die-Out. The interview with one of the two deputies who was first on the scene is especially interesting. Also, ABC speaks with Calvin Vine, the chief medical examiner at the time, who reveals that some of the cultists left the building Elvis-style. Thank you! Thank you very much.
This woman must really dislike her brother:
The sister of a man who is dying of leukemia is refusing to donate bone marrow to the British man, according to a London newspaper.Simon Pretty, a father of three, told the Daily Mail that his sister Helen Pretty would not donate her bone marrow, which is a perfect match and could save his life.
Without the donation, Pretty could be dead by the end of the year. He would leave behind his wife Jacqueline and his children: Rebecca, 8, Jack, 6, and Benjamin, 3.
That's too bad. I'd suggest he take out descriptive escort ads for her on Craigslist now, while he still has time to enjoy the hijinks.
Geez, this sounds time consuming. It seems like it takes an hour just to heat some bratwurst:
A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student was killed by her ex-boyfriend, who then dismembered and burned her body on a patio grill, authorities said Saturday.
...
"We have determined through this investigation that the defendant dismembered Tynesha Stewart and...he burned the body parts," Harris County Sheriff Tommy Thomas said. "There are no remaining body parts."
I bet after a while he got really bored. And hot.
Like Thomas Edison said of my hometown, "There's only one Ft. Myers, and 90 million people are going to find out about it." That includes the special fellow who started a private nude cemetery in E. Ft. Myers:
Skeletal remains of eight people were found in southwest Florida woods, and investigators believe the bodies have been there for several years, police said.The skeletons, which had no skin or clothing, were found Friday in an unlit wooded area about 25 feet from an unpaved section of an east Fort Myers street, Fort Myers police Lt. Brian Phillips said.
Investigators were working to identify the bodies and were handling the deaths as homicides unless they find evidence to the contrary, police said. No trauma was evident, Phillips said.
An ecologist who was surveying a 10-acre lot for a developer discovered the bodies, police spokeswoman Shelly Flynn said. At first, police thought there were three skeletons, but a search turned up five more within a 50-yard radius, detectives said.
Police estimate the bodies have been in the woods for several years, but it was not yet known how they got there.
Technicians from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement collected physical evidence Friday, Flynn said. The skeletons will be taken to the medical examiner's office, where pathologists will try to determine a cause of death.
It's odd that it says the skeletons didn't have any skin. I kind of take it for granted that they don't. Or is it saying that this cemetery is ultra-nude?
The Duke lacrosse case is back in the news and I for one am looking forward to the trial in Durham...of Crystal "Precious" Mangum and District Attorney Nifong:
The remaining charges against three Duke University lacrosse players originally indicted for rape may be dropped sometime within the next few days, according to a report.Inside Lacrosse Magazine writer Paul Caulfield told FOX News on Thursday that several sources have revealed to him that the assault and attempted kidnapping charges still pending against Collin Finnerty, 19, of Garden City, N.Y.; Dave Evans, 23, of Bethesda, Md.; and Reade Seligmann, 20, of Essex Falls, N.J., will soon be dropped.
Caulfield said his sources include more than just attorneys for the defense.
"There is no case here and they will be hearing a dismissal in the coming days," Caulfield told FOX News.
Durham District Attorney Mike Nifong last year indicted the three former players with raping an exotic dancer hired to perform at an off-campus lacrosse party on March 13, 2006. The dancer, who is black, claimed that she was sexually assaulted in a bathroom in the house by three white lacrosse players. DNA was taken from all members of the university lacrosse team, except for the single black player on the team. DNA tests never conclusively proved that anyone on the team assaulted her. But DNA from other individuals was found in the accuser's underwear, among other places.
A false accusation and prosecutorial misconduct put three guys in hell for a year and nearly cost them their freedom. I hope Collin Finnerty, Dave Evans, and Reade Seligmann can get their pound of flesh from the Durham Duo; these people need to be held accountable.
***
Previous postings:
Rush To Judgment Officially Over
Nifong To Go Before The Bar
Flipping Out
Rape Charges Dropped In Duke Lacrosse Case
Phony Rape Victims Need Our Support Too
Prosecutorial Misconduct In Duke Lacrosse Case
Duke Case
Accused Duke Lacrosse Player Guilty
The Duke Case
What's On The Menu
Twists And Turns
Some people would do anything to get elected:
Democrat John Edwards announced Tuesday he would stay in the presidential race after his wife, Elizabeth, learned the cancer first diagnosed in 2004 has returned.The couple, appearing at a news conference in North Carolina, said they would not suspend campaign activities as she begins treatment.
"The campaign goes on. The campaign goes on strongly," John Edwards said.
A more on-the-make pair than these two would be hard to find.
It's nonsense to say that this cancer "humanizes" them -- we all know probably twenty people who have or have had cancer. It's as common as dirt. What's uncommon and what makes them look to me like political androids is their continuing to campaign in the midst of it -- especially when they have children at home. What human families do is drop everything they're doing, huddle together, and concentrate on fighting the disease.
I was only a few years older than Emma Claire when my mother first got cancer, and I'm awfully glad that instead of chasing a dream my own dad just...was there.
How about this, guys: your brains really are in your pants:
A recent study by Northwestern University researchers revealed that men with a rare kind of dementia are more likely to have had a vasectomy than those who do not have cognitive problems. Called Primary Progressive Aphasia, or PPA, this dementia affects an individual's ability to express himself, impairing word recall and ability to understand words. The research was published in Cognitive and Behavioral Neurology.
Get a load of what they think the connection is:
Here's the theory behind the link: A blood-testes barrier exists, just like a blood-brain barrier exists. Post-vasectomy, that protective blood-testes barrier is broken, and semen enters the blood. "Sixty to 70 percent of men will develop antibodies which try to kill the sperm," [clinical neuropsychologist Sandra] Weintraub explained, as the immune system views the sperm as foreign agents. "The question is whether these antibodies are somehow interacting with the brain, too," thus creating damage resulting in PPA.
A spooged-out vascular system -- now that's just disgusting.
I don't mind that Philip de Vellis's anti-Hillary video is derivative. What bugs me is that it's so long and poorly cut that the hammer-thrower would have had to wind up ten times before releasing. Other things that bother me from the world of TV and cinema include: ten minutes of action to defuse a bomb with a five-minute timer, people hanging up the phone without saying good-bye, and people who've purchased groceries always having that damn loaf of French bread sticking out of the top of the grocery bag.
She was a wonderful writer and will be missed:
Catherine Seipp, a writer and media critic who became known in the 1990s for her pointed coverage of the Los Angeles Times in Buzz magazine, has died. She was 49.Seipp, a nonsmoker who was diagnosed with lung cancer five years ago, died Wednesday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, her family announced. She was a longtime resident of Silver Lake.
She was a very bright and funny lady. Still looking out for our four-legged friends, her request is that in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Humane Society.
First Acidman, now Cathy. My blogroll keeps losing its best writers.
Though the hectic pace of modern life has turned the simple family meal into an event, we do still occasionally read of families taking time to do things together:
A convicted child molester and his father took turns sexually assaulting a 6-year-old boy while the molester's mother watched, then they choked the boy to death, according to an indictment issued Wednesday. The indictment charges all three family members with murder and child molestation in the slaying of young Christopher Michael Barrios, whose body was found last Thursday inside a trash bag dumped by a roadside.
Wouldn't it be nice if they all got executed together as well?
Duane's been known to play percussion before, but never anything so elaborate.
Wail on, Skydog!
And a special pic for Ben on his birthday:
Thanks to Sheila for the drum pic.
This is so touching. It's great to see parents getting behind their kids:
Sunny Lee has some really supportive parents.The 20-something gal has made a name for herself as the "Shirley Temple of Porn," thanks in large part to the help of her loving parents, ABC News reports.
Lee (not her real name) still lives at home with her parents, Mike and Shelby, who help her in every aspect of the business — from helping her create a doppelganger sex doll to bagging her dirty underwear for sale online.
They watch all her movies, but fast-forward through the sex scenes, so they've really come to appreciate good titles and credits.
Perhaps in ten years the air at their home will be filled with shrieked recriminations, but right now it's all smooth sailing for the family business.
I thought for sure this boy would have been found by now:
Rescue teams searching for a 12-year-old Boy Scout missing for three nights have so far come up emptyhanded as they faced damp, cool weather Tuesday in the rugged mountains of western North Carolina.Dog teams and a plane with heat-sensing equipment "had no new clues or leads overnight," said Tina White, spokeswoman for the National Park Service.
A chance of rain was forecast Tuesday, and could hamper the air search, authorities said. Overnight temperatures were in the upper 30s to low 40s, milder than on Sunday night, when temperatures dropped into the 20s. Michael Auberry vanished after lunch Saturday while other Scouts and troop leaders from his group went on a hike.
If he's in some gully I could see why heat-sensing equipment couldn't pick him up, but I wonder why the dogs haven't found him.
When my brother was a boy he got lost on Lookout Mountain in Chattanooga. The Boy Scouts searched for him, but since he was on the top of a mountain with a road winding around it, he figured 'down' was a winning direction and found his own way out before they could take any casualties.
I hope the boy is found today. He's probably had a little bit too much adventure by now.
UPDATE:
He's been found alive. He'll now have an outstanding story for his grandchildren.
And the dogs did come through: it was a dog named Gandalf who found him. From the hospital the boy sent his word of thanks to the black-furred marvel.
Misha Marshall with Gandalf, the Shiloh Shepherd with a nose for wandering Boy Scouts.
Somebody's got a new house, and man is it gorgeous:
Like a Phoenix who rises from the ashes, Shawn Hornbeck's new home sprung from the ruins of the house in which he was reared.The home and its contents were a gift to the family from McBride and Son Homes and Mattingly Lumber Company, subcontractors and suppliers, and well-wishers around the world. Shawn and his parents, Craig and Pam Akers, had a private tour of their new home in Richwoods Tuesday evening.
After all these people pitched in to build and furnish Shawn's and his parents new house (it even has a doghouse that's a replica of the main house), the construction workers' union membership threw in one extra thing: they payed off the mortgage on the old house.
Here's to lots of happy new memories for that family.
This whole deal smells fishy:
His sister was preparing a funeral. The Coast Guard was embarking on a rescue.Michael Mankamyer was 30 miles off Fort Lauderdale treading water in choppy seas.
About eight hours earlier, the 35-year-old Orlando man had jumped from a cruise ship balcony -- rescue officials were at a loss to say why, though they reported a witness said he was drunk. But salvation came at 8:45 a.m., when a lookout on the Coast Guard cutter Chandeleur, Petty Officer Ryan Coon, saw Mankamyer in the fresh sunrise about 75 yards away.
He was shirtless, splashing and thrashing his arms.
What kept Mr. Mankamyer from Davy Jones' locker despite eight hours in the drink? That it was warm out, and as the appropriately named Dr. Rotundo explains:
Another factor was Mankamyer's body mass. As a heavyset man, he was more likely to float than someone leaner, said Richard Rotundo, a professor at the University of Miami's Miller School of Medicine who specializes in cell biology and anatomy."Someone who ... has excess fat, their body density would be less than water," Rotundo said. Layers of fat would also insulate Mankamyer from the cold, the professor added, and help retain body heat.
That mass had hit the ocean's surface like a sack of wet cement under highly unusual circumstances:
An MRI technician at Florida Hospital in Orlando, Mankamyer was on the final leg of a weeklong Caribbean cruise with his 16-year-old godson, Salvie Wega, of Orlando, aboard Carnival Cruise Lines' Carnival Glory. They were scheduled to return to Port Canaveral today.Around 12:45 Friday morning, Wega's mother, Margaret, said officials told her Mankamyer dashed through his cabin and out the balcony. "They said that Michael went off the side of the ship and my son Salvie tried grabbing him but he couldn't grab him," Margaret Wega said.
Do people just dive off of ships for no reason? And who would send a teenage son to share a cabin with a 35-year-old unmarried godfather? Sounds like more than one person was out their mind.
UPDATE:
Now it now appears they had some kind of fight:
Wega said he was hanging out with Mankamyer, 35, when his godfather had a few drinks at dinner and got upset that he wanted to go explore the ship."He starts hitting himself and punching me and I hit him back. I couldn’t take it anymore and I held him down and security came," Wega said.
Wega said his godfather jumped from the balcony of their seventh-story room when he went to answer the door.
"He jumped off the boat because; I don’t know what was wrong with him. I was trying to pull him in and I cut my finger in the window," he said.
Wega said security initially believed he pushed Mankamyer overboard.
"They handcuffed me, they bumped my head -- I have a big bump on my head and they tried to accuse me of murder," he said.
Mankamyer's a neighbor, and I can't tell if he's an actual godfather or just a figurative one. Salvie Wega would have had to have been a toddler when he was christened.
There'll be more coming out on this, I'm sure.
With that Georgia kid's ignoble conquest of our mullet-wearing populace still gnawing at my vitals, it's comforting to know at least one other person can somewhat relate:
An inmate was convicted Thursday of murdering his cellmate by a jury that viewed gruesome videotape of the killer holding up his victim's entrails as he taunted guards from his bloody cell.
Although expired prisoner Joey Jesus Estrella didn't get any help from the guards when he pushed the alarm button in his cell, at least he had a decent device with which to signal distress. All I've got is the empty toilet-paper roll I use to amplify my whimpers.
I'm getting tired of Georgians coming into our kitchen and kicking our dog:
Kingsland has a celebrity of sorts living within its royal walls; it is home to a young and shy boy whose hair has been deemed "the best mullet in Jacksonville." And he has a massive six-foot trophy to prove it.
Dakota Russ, 9, stood in front of thousands of people in the pit of Jacksonville's Alltel stadium at the Monster Jam truck show Saturday, Feb. 24 and showed off his pride and glory: his long, raven mullet. He is a shy kid, but that particular day he broke out of his shell to get the crowd riled up and he had the whole stadium screaming for him.He and his mullet won the favor of the crowd over the six other contestants and he took home not only the six-foot trophy, which, by the way, is topped with a little man who has a mullet, but he also won bragging rights for one year. This means he has the right to tell everyone and everything in sight that he, Dakota Russ, has the best mullet in Jacksonville, hands-down, no questions asked.
However, he may not vocal those rights too loudly. He is a mild-mannered, quiet type, and when asked how he felt about winning, he merely shook his head and whispered, "I am excited."
His family members, on the other hand, were very vocal and had no problem sharing their excitement.
"When they got to him the crowd went wild screaming," his mother, Rosemary Johnson, said. "I was like, ahhhhhh!"
"Yeah, we were so excited we lost out voices screaming," his 11-year-old sister Josephine Johnson chimed in.
"I was just so happy, because I had been so nervous that he would not win. We could not walk five steps without someone stopping us to get a picture," his mother said.
His mother said she has wanted to enter him into the contest for the past two years, but they were unable to make it the Jam. Consequently, this is his first year competing and his family is very excited that he won against competitors who have been in the contest previously. He plans to enter the contest in the future, but he may have some tough competition next year ... his dad may enter too.
The video of the imp gloating in his triumph over us is almost unbearable.
Moses smote a rock once and water gushed forth. Politicians found the rock for taxes and they just keep going back and whomping that thing:
A state legislator is proposing a new tax on candy, officials said.Sean McDonald reported that there's a new "candy tax" being proposed.
Democratic Rep. Catherine Mulholland of Grafton has proposed raising money for the state by putting a 50 cent tax for every pound of candy, which would be about 5 cents of tax on a candy bar.
"I just think the whole thing is really quite silly," said Dave Quinn, an employee at Can Otis Chocolates in Manchester.
As a candy maker and retailer, he would have to get multiple "candy licenses," which would cost his store about $450, and his store would be required to buy 'tax stamps' to be put on all candy, a cost that would be passed along.
New Hampshire, by the way, was the very first state to legislate a lottery, way back in 1963. What was the selling point used to bring the lottery about? That it would fund education, of course, the same thing Floridians were told 23 years later.
The candy tax sounds promising as it could be extended to so many other items, establishing in the code a kiddie sin tax which has been unaccountably absent so far. Think of the revenue that could be brought in from those decadent Happy Meals alone.
On a chilly night, Duane's doing some cooking with his slide.
Wail on, Skydog!
Is there anything better than a beautiful song that makes you feel like crap? Yes, there is: two of them.
If a thousand years from now archeologists dig up the bones of either of these ladies, they will find the bones of a man, whereas the grave of this dog will yield the bones of a woman.
This man needs to run for senator:
The Foreign Ministry recalled Israel's ambassador to El Salvador, Tzuriel Refael, after he was found in the back yard of his residence naked, drunk, bound and gagged, it emerged Monday.Raphael has been removed from his post and the Foreign Ministry has begun searching for a replacement, ministry spokeswoman Zehavit Ben-Hillel said.
According to reports, San Salvador policemen who guard the ambassador's residence found Refael with his hands tied, a rubber ball gag in his mouth and wearing sex toys.
"Jou OK, Senor Kennedy?"
(Via Harry B. in e-mail.)
Holy cow, I thought the Catholic church and Pakistani madrasahs had a sweet set up for pervs, but a rip-snortin' Texas juvenile justice system is hoisting the standard for the Lone Star state:
For at least two years, investigators say, boys at a juvenile prison in the West Texas desert were summoned from their dorms late at night and taken to darkened conference rooms, offices and ball fields for sex with two of the institution's top administrators.The boys told their parents, their teachers, any staff member who would listen. A few diligent staff members took their complaints to their supervisors. But the allegations were largely covered up until last month, when they exploded in the biggest scandal ever to engulf the Texas juvenile prison system.
The No. 1 and No. 2 officials at the Texas Youth Commission have lost their jobs over their handling of the allegations. Prosecutors are looking into criminal charges. And lawmakers are infuriated.
"What scares me the most is what I don't know," said state Sen. John Whitmire, chairman of the Criminal Justice Committee.
The allegations became public when the Dallas Morning News cited a never-released 2005 Texas Rangers report that said 13 boys were molested at the West Texas State school, a red-brick institution ringed by razor wire in a desolate part of the state. Since then, others have come forward with allegations of sexual abuse at other juvenile prisons across Texas.
Lawmakers were outraged to learn that the two men accused of molesting boys at the West Texas State School -- Ray Brookins, an assistant superintendent who temporarily ran the place, and Principal John Paul Hernandez -- were quietly allowed to resign in 2005 with no criminal charges. (Hernandez took a job as the director of a nearby charter school, which accepted his resignation last week.)
All those bad kids all powerless and institutionalized together must look like a smorgasbord from behind a pair of short eyes.
Still, I thought most employees would be growing curly tails from all the squealing they'd be doing on these guys. It's hard to believe that in this day and age anyone would be allowed to resign quietly.
South Dakotans couldn't take all that cultcha:
A show where French performance artists vomited, simulated sex and threw fake feces was stopped by the promoter, who quickly apologized.Lisou Prout and Jean-Louis Costes also stripped and spit potato chips on the crowd at a local arts center.
Audience members said the act depicted American life from birth to death. The show was stopped shortly after a simulated sex act involving a carrot.
"I was told they were performance artists from France and were highly recommended. I think I was told wrong," said promoter Kevin Dorsman, who stopped the show.
Leave the shoots on and you've got a depiction of French life. Voila! They could probably tailor their act for different audiences and go on a world tour.
How do we have a dog in this fight?:
A US congressional committee will likely pass this month a controversial bill demanding Japan's apology to World War II-era sex slaves, a lawmaker was quoted as saying Friday.Japan's conservative government has been lobbying hard against the bill, and Prime Minister Shinzo Abe recently provoked outrage by insisting that Japanese soldiers did not coerce so-called "comfort women" into army brothels.
Thirty-six lawmakers of the 50-member House Committee on Foreign Affairs have shown support for the resolution, the Yomiuri Shimbun said, quoting senior member Eni Faleomavaega.
This thing was started by Rep. Mike Honda, who, like Ted Kennedy, concerns himself overmuch with the cultural goings-on of a country he's not a citizen of.
Demanding someone tell someone else he's sorry is so kindergarten. I bet this congressional committee felt pretty righteous when they were talking about it in between their bites of butter cookies and sips of SunnyD though.
Lots of ink being spilled over Gingrich's little newt:
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group."The honest answer is yes," Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. "There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards."
Gingrich argued in the interview, however, that he should not be viewed as a hypocrite for pursuing Clinton's infidelity.
"The president of the United States got in trouble for committing a felony in front of a sitting federal judge," the former Georgia congressman said of Clinton's 1998 House impeachment on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. "I drew a line in my mind that said, 'Even though I run the risk of being deeply embarrassed, and even though at a purely personal level I am not rendering judgment on another human being, as a leader of the government trying to uphold the rule of law, I have no choice except to move forward and say that you cannot accept ... perjury in your highest officials."
Now on wife number three, his pattern seems to be marry, cheat, repeat.
He says he's waiting to see how the field shapes up before deciding to run for president, but it would seem rather pointless at this juncture. Besides, he'd just cheat on us with France.
That would mean another owie for one Missouri grandpa:
A teenager is accused of hitting his 64-year-old grandfather with a metal pipe because he wouldn't give him money to buy a cell phone.The blow caused a gash in the older man's forearm and knocked him to the ground, police said.
William Christopher Shannon, 17, is facing a felony count of elder abuse in the altercation. He was being held Tuesday in the St. Charles County Jail on $25,000 bail.
Shannon lives in the 3400 block of Wilshire Avenue with his grandfather and grandmother, 72. He got into the quarrel with them a few hours after he was released from the St. Charles City Jail on Sunday.
Police said he had been incarcerated earlier for felony stealing. According to court records, Shannon had bought gasoline using his grandparents' credit card without first getting their permission.
Police have been called to the grandparents' residence 19 times in the past 10 months for domestic situations between Shannon and his grandparents. In addition, court records show that Shannon has been arrested 15 times since he turned 17. Besides domestic assault, the charges include: property damage, tampering, stealing a motor vehicle, carrying a concealed weapon and peace disturbance.
Shannon admitted to authorities Sunday that he had swung a pipe at his grandfather. However, police said they were unable to recover the weapon because Shannon's grandmother refused to let them in the home, saying nothing had happened.
It was unclear whether the older man sought medical attention for his injuries.
Make sure you click -- the lad has the face of a poet.
I normally take a dim view of adults abandoning kids, but these folks need to enter some kind of grandparent protection program. They can resurface in Sedona, Arizona with new names and a tragic tale of the rheumatic fever that shattered their hopes of having children.
It's terrific to hear that the kidnapper of Clay Moore has been arrested:
Authorities arrested the man they believe abducted 13-year-old Clay Moore from a bus stop last month and left him tied up in the woods, officials said Wednesday.Vicente Ignacio Beltran-Moreno, 22, agreed to voluntarily return from his native Mexico after several days of negotiations, Manatee County Sheriff Charlie Wells said.
Beltran-Moreno was arrested in Texas Wednesday morning at the U.S.-Mexico border and extradition proceedings were under way to get him back to Florida.
So what made him agree to come back?
He didn't want to serve his time in a Mexican prison.
The wheels of justice are grinding on another Florida crime today: as expected, home-grown fiend John Couey was found guilty of the horrendous murder of little Jessica Lunsford. By next week he'll be sentenced to death, which as far as I can tell means he'll have better-than-average accommodations for the next couple of decades. As Jessica's father answers when asked how he feels about whichever phase of the legal process Couey's in: "He ain't dead yet."
What aggravations we've been having with our instruments of execution lately! First they got rid of Ol' Sparky because he caught some killer's hair on fire, now it looks like they've been hiring Candy Stripers to give lethal injections -- resulting in some embarrassing misplaced shots. Guess they should have practiced stopping an orange's heart first before jabbing around on the condemned. Actually, I find the whole idea of lethal injection to be so cold and unfeeling: is not the warm embrace of the Chair better for a murderer's send-off? Just give every prisoner on Death Row a membership to the Hair Club for Men.
Duane and his goldtop have a nap.
Wail on, Skydog!
Sometimes you read news that just restores your faith in your fellow man:
Developer Raul Masvidal, one of Miami-Dade's most prominent civic leaders, is slated to be arrested today on felony charges that he siphoned tens of thousands of dollars from the county's Housing Agency to buy himself a sculpture of a giant watermelon slice.Masvidal will become the second developer in recent months accused of stealing money from the Miami-Dade Housing Agency while thousands of poor families scraped by in decrepit rental apartments, public housing or homeless shelters.
A former banker whose ties to local power brokers span three decades, Masvidal is expected to turn himself in today at the Miami-Dade state attorney's office, where he will be charged with grand theft and organized fraud. If convicted of the first-degree felonies, he could face as many as 30 years in prison.
According to investigators from the Miami-Dade inspector general's office, Masvidal used county money to buy a $150,000 watermelon sculpture titled Mars.
After far too many articles on these guys stealing from the poor because of a desire for drugs and hookers, it's refreshing to find a thief stealing in order to nourish his spirit with art.
That watermelon sculpture looks pretty refreshing too. Isn't it lovely?
Herald log-in/pswd=crockett@tubbs.com/miamivice.
Jetsetting Al Gore recently got so befuddled by his whirlwind travels that he mistook his own state's largest airport for Disney World. He bypassed security thinking he was getting the backway VIP entry into "Pirates of the Caribbean":
An airline employee led former Vice President Al Gore and two associates around airport security lines before police spotted the breach and required them to be screened, an airport spokeswoman said Thursday.The American Airlines employee led the three down to the lower baggage level Wednesday and swiped each of them through a secure turnstile with her security badge, Nashville International Airport spokeswoman Lynne Lowrance said. She declined to identify the employee.
An airport officer assigned to escort Gore to his gate was to meet him at the security checkpoint, but Gore never came through, Lowrance said. The officer found Gore, his communications director Kalee Kreider and another staffer waiting at the gate for their flight.
The officer asked them if they went through security, and when they said they hadn’t, they were taken back and fully screened. Gore did not complain and cooperated fully, Lowrance said.
Said Gore's communication director Kalee Kreider, “I was there, and we didn’t know if standards had changed or what,” she said. “There are different policies at different airports and you basically do what you’re asked to do.”
You learn something new every day. Here I was thinking that since 9-11 all airports required passengers to go through security, but it looks to be optional in some places and you just have to bear with not waiting in line and not being searched the best you can.
Where was Mr. Gore going on that big ol' jet airliner anyway?
Gore was on his way to deliver his presentation on global warming at the University of Miami.
I wondered why I was coughing. He's like a carbon-dust Pigpen in those wide-bodies.
How many times would you watch this video in one sitting?
Was anybody at the big march? I missed it:
Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barack Obama nearly trampled each other yesterday trying to seize the high road in their first joint appearance as 2008 rivals.After an ugly spat earlier this month -- and a bitter behind-the-scenes tussle for black support -- both Democrats viewed a ceremony commemorating the 1965 civil rights march here as a chance to prove they aren't at each other's throats.
With the exception of one nasty comment by an Obama supporter, the theme of nonviolence ruled the day.
"It's excellent that we have a candidate like Barack Obama, who embodies what all of you fought for here 42 years ago," said Clinton referring to the landmark "Bloody Sunday" march across the Edmund Pettus Bridge that led to the Voting Rights Act.
Obama, for his part, said Clinton was "doing an excellent job for this country and we're going to be marching arm-in-arm."
But aside from a quick handshake on the steps of a church, the pair never linked arms, keeping a respectful distance as they led the 1,000-strong procession through the once-segregated heart of Alabama farm country.
The detente seemed shaky early in the day when Obama backer Rep. Artur Davis (D-Birmingham) implied that Clinton's nearly three decades in the political arena had led her to cast a cynical yes vote on the Iraq war in Oct. 2002.
"Longevity," Davis said, "can make you too cautious. It can make you calculate when you cast your vote on a war."
Earlier this month, the two camps exchanged barbs over Obama fundraiser David Geffen's anti-Hillary statements. But yesterday, a Clinton spokesman responded with, "Today is not about politics."
It must be a blast on Hillary's campaign bus the way they're always cracking wise with the jokes.
A new biography of Mickey Mantle is in the works:
A racy novel about baseball great Mickey Mantle has found a new home after being canceled in the wake of publisher Judith Regan's firing.Lyons Press, an imprint of Globe Pequot Press that publishes many sports books, will release Peter Golenbock's "7: The Mickey Mantle Novel" on April 3, with a planned first printing of 250,000.
Oh, "racy" is it? Does that mean there'll be lots of tales of Mickey's rock-hard throbbing liver?
"The situation here for this kid looks to me to be a lot more fun than what he had under his old parents. He didn't have to go to school. He could run around, do whatever he wanted."
Like star in kiddie porn with a 300-lb man.
Yep, I'm still pissed about Bill O'Reilly's comments about Shawn Hornbeck.
I sent my check out to the Shawn Hornbeck Care Trust today. On the money:water conversion chart it came to two drops in the bucket of what that kid's going to need after four-and-a-half years of living in a rat hole with the boogeyman.
If any of y'all would like to join me in contributing, the address is:
Shawn Hornbeck Care Trust
C/O First Bank
11901 Olive Blvd.
Creve Coeur, MO 63141
Or you could leave a kind message for him at his parents' website.
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Previous postings:
Fun Times With The Pizzaman
Nellie Bly Strikes Again
Exclusive! On Your Next Oprah
Everyone's On The 'Net
Missing No Longer
A 50-year-old principal was found naked in his school office while watching gay pornography on Tuesday, according to sources. Sex toys were found nearby, the sources added.Police said John Acerra was a longtime teacher and principal in the Bethlehem Area School District, but was also allegedly selling crystal meth out of his school office.
The shoe is on the other foot now, so let me ask this question in a tone of the most shocked disbelief I can muster: What the hell is going on in Pennsylvania?
Ahh, that felt good.
